Good Night My Someone, Good Night
by LaneWolf
Summary: Harm's leaving and he waits til the last possible minute to tell Mac--reactions? Drama. Drama. Drama. Chapter 11 is up--Harm finds Mac!
1. Chapters 1 and 2

*1: Adventures in Babysitting*~c

SUNDAY

2155

COLONEL MACKENZIE'S APARTMENT

Harm was a little shocked when Mac picked up the phone and he heard a squeal in the background. "AJ duty?"

"Yeah, and he's wired tonight." She pushed her hair out of her eyes and turned to find her godson smushing his face against the window looking down to the street below. Her laughter danced through the phone to play havoc with Harm's imagination. Sighing, he realized anew that he had to talk to her soon.

"Mac, listen I need to talk to you." he paused but cut in when he sensed her usual witty retort. "In person. It's important."

"Harriet'll be here to pick AJ up any minute. Do you wanna come over?"

_Yes!_ His mind screamed. "I can't right now. Are you free for dinner tomorrow night?"

His tone was starting to worry her. She and Coates had planned a working dinner; mentally, she went over her schedule for the next day. With a little juggling, she could work in a late dinner. Her stomach grumbled at the thought. "It'll have to be late." she commented as she peeled her godson's face off the window and shook her head at the imprint left by his little nose and mouth.

"2030?" Harm asked.

"2100 even?" she countered.

"All right, make sure you eat a snack before then." He chuckled lightly. "I can't afford to buy out the restaraunt."

"All right, Stickboy." He heard the knock on her door just as she did.

"Go, and tell Harriet I said 'Hello.'" he said hanging up as he pulled into an empty space in front of his building. 

Mac opened the door to Harriet and smiled brightly. "Harriet." she nodded.

"Thank you so much for watching him, Ma'am." Mac gave her a pointed look. "Mac. I appreciate you giving up a Sunday afternoon to watch him."

'It's nothing, Harriet. I enjoy it." She tweaked AJ's nose as he walked by, teddy bear in hand.

"Mom, I'm tired." The four year old mumbled. "Up." he demanded regressing a full two years. 

"No, sir. Mom's not carrying you down those stairs, little man." Mac scolded. "You're big guy," she started.

"Auntie Mac's lil Mawine" he said through a huge yawn.

"That's right, and I'll hold you're hand going down stairs. Deal?"

"Deal." Four year old eyes looked up, totally in love with the tough, loving woman who loved him almost as much as his mommy. "Love you, Auntie Mac"

"Ditto, Kiddo." she rhymed, dissolving AJ into a puddle of giggles. Taking his hand she tried to grill Harriet discreetly about Harm. "Harriet," she finally gave up. 'What's going on with Harm?"

Harriet looked at her and wanted disparately to tell her, but she couldn't so she played dumb. "I don't know what you mean, Ma'a—Mac." she pulled the back door open and let AJ climb in. "Maybe he's just stressed."

"Hi, Ma'a—Mac." Bud tried to divert Mac's attention. "Did AJ behave?" he asked pretending he'd heard none of the previous conversation. 

"He was a little...active." She ruffled the blonde hair atop his head. "But we had fun, huh, AJ?"

"Fun--un." he yawned again. 

"Looks like he needs his bed." Bud observed pointedly to his wife. 

"If you find out anything let me know, all right, Harriet?"

"Sure." Harriet smiled just a little too brightly.

"'Night." Mac called as the Roberts drove toward home and the teenager waiting with the baby.

"He still hasn't told her has he?" Bud asked reaching over to take his wife's hand.

"No, but I think that's why she's worried. She's not blind. Or stupid." Harriet said hoping Harm told Mac what was going on before someone else did.

~*2:Talking the Talk*~

0802

JAG HQ BULL PEN

Sarah Mackenzie arrived in the Bull Pen uncharacteristically lated and hurried. Her alarm had not gone off correctly; twenty minutes ago she'd been dreaming happily of a certain aviator. The content of her dreams bordered on an NC-17 rating and remembering made her blush. Harm's actual presence behind her made her jump. "Harm!" she ground out. "Don't sneak up on me." She said with a chuckled and a playful slap to his arm. As she grabbed a file, he reached up and touched her still damp hair. 

"Running late this morning?" He asked with a smile at the thought.

Between the remembered dreams, the touch and the intimate tone of his voice mac was swiftly losing any shred of control over her reactions to the man. Turning on a heel she put on her professional mask and nodded toward the conference room. "Tell the Admiral I'll be right in." she requested as she passed him and headed for the ladies head. Harm, as usual oblivious to the devastation he cause her, shrugged and walked into the Monday Morning Meeting he knew would be his last for quite some time.

Admiral Chegwidden, unhappy at losing a key member of his staff for an extended duty assignment didn't wait on Mac to start the meeting. "As you all know, Commander Rabb will be leaving us for an extended assignment. At his request no bon voyage will be held." Harm watched the door as the Admiral talked wishing him to finish before Mac arrived. "We will miss you, Commander." He finshed and a murmur passed through the room. Nods and smiles pointed in his direction wished him well. That was all Harm needed. Mac walked in still flustered from her late start. "Good of you to join us, Colonel." AJ Chegwidden intoned carefully knowing the situation with Harm had to be hard on her.

"Sorry sir." She nodded and took the last vacant seat across from Harm. She was confused by the enormous caseload heaped on Sturgis and Bud while nothing seemed to land on Harm's plate._ But then he's had to be at the Pentagon a bunch this month._ Shrugging she let wrote it off as a fluke. About noon Mac went to Harriet to ask for a file and all conversation quieted when Harriet, Gunny Galindez and Tiner saw her approach. "Harriet, I need the Jacobs file." she said and saw a couple of legal aides smile sadly at her and walk on. "What is going on around here?" she asked more to herself than anyone. Tiner and the Gunny quickly found menial chores to complete. Harriet dug through a file cabinet and produced the Jacobs file without much drama. Harm watched the day go by and sighed as he packed up his briefcase. He buzzed Tiner and went to see the Admiral with about five minutes left in the day. 

"Sir, I'm sorry I have to leave this way. I just wouldn't work any other way."

"I know, and I'm sure everything'll be fine, but your leaving doesn't make things easier—for any of us." the senior officer said pointedly.

"I know, sir." Harm put out a hand. "I'll be back as soon as I can." 

"Stay in touch when it's safe, Harm." AJ said taking the young man's hand and shaking it.

Harm walked out of the Admiral's office and stuck his head into Mac's. "We still on for tonight?" He asked hoping his casual tone hid the tightness in his voice. _Please say yes._

_"_Yeah I'll be ready to go at 2100 sharp." He smiled that smile and started to walk out. "Harm!" she called and he was back in less than a second. "Could you get me a Twinkie from the machine?" she asked all sweetness and light. He shook his head, but dug in his pocket for change.

2030

COLONEL MACKENZIE'S APARTMENT

The knock on her door half an hour early left Mac flustered as she was still twenty minutes from ready to go. She walked to the door talking through it, "Harm, I'm running late—STILL—"she opened the door to the surprise of Harm in a dashing gray suit and sapphire cored shirt. "Wow, you meant _dinner." _She smiled standing in her robe and house shoes. 

"Yeah, I forgot to mention that, huh?" he quipped.

"Let me go change, and we'll go."

"No hurry. Our reservation is at 2100." He walked to her kitchen looking for something to much on. He gotten her a snack earlier but had neglected himself. Opening her fridge he cringed at the assortment of cookies, snack cakes and leftover Chinese. Deciding to wait on dinner he walked back out to the living room. She came out of her bedroom and stole his breath. The garnet colored dress was scooped at the neck and boasted the barest of straps. A floaty skirt of the same color flared from her waist to just below her knees. She let her face mostly unpainted to Harm's delight. She grabbed her purse and smiled. _Ready?_ Her eyes asked. _As I'll ever be._ Harm thought offering her his hand. As she took it they walked out of her building a very attractive couple that turned more than a few heads.

At the restaraunt, their hostess seated them quickly, at this late hour there were few other diners. All of which suited Harm perfectly. He and Mac ordered and as they waited on their meals Mac looked out the window into the still busy street. Smiling at the bustle of it all she turned to find harm staring at her. His eyes were sad. "Harm, was all this about?" she gestured to the restaraunt. "really it's nice, but I feel like I'm being set up—and I've got great instincts."

"Yeah, you do." he said smiling that same sad smile.

"Harm, please let's just get it over with—tell me."

He hesitated wanting so badly to enjoy this last few hours with her. Not wanting to hurt her. "I'm leaving, Mac."

"Flying?" she swallowed.

"I can't say. All I can tell you is that it's an extended assignment, and i wouldn't go if I trusted anyone else to do it."

She swallowed again, audibly. She wanted a drink—just a glass of wine—badly. Shaking the thought from her brain she looked him in eye. "How long?"

"I don't know."

"Ball park."

"Six months."

"Worst case?"

"Eighteen months."

"How long have you known?"

"A couple of months."

She let out a breath. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I—I didn't want to—" he stopped unable to find a good enough lie. He decided on the truth. " Because telling you makes it real. Makes it impossible to avoid."

"When do you leave?"

Tomorrow. 1300." he said suddenly finding his feet all too interesting.

"Of course." The waiter approached as she looked down. Her appetite gone, Mac pushed away from the table caught between anger, desperation and agony. "Take me home, Harm, now." 

Harm pulled out his wallet and lay enough money on the table to cover the tab plus a generous tip. He pushed away from the table and took her home. They rode the whole way in silence.

  
  


Pulling back into a space in front of her building, Harm opened his mouth to speak, but closed it quickly. A minute later she punched him—hard—on the arm. "Hey!" he fussed rubbing at the offended arm.

"This may be the most cowardly thing you've ever done, Rabb." She said climbing out of the car and slamming the door behind her.

He rushed after her as she stalked up the stairs toward her door. "Mac!" he called after her. "Please let me talk to you."

She reached the door seconds before he did. The tears blurring her vision kept her from making it inside and slamming the door in his face. He took her keys and unlocked the door. After guiding her inside her took her shaking form in his arms and held her as sobs racked through her system. Soon she was past the tears and was back to punching him. Beating on his chest she screamed that she hated him, that she'd never forgive him. "Sarah." Two gently spoken syllables calmed the storm and he lead her to the couch. Keeping her hand in his, Harm reached up to touch her face. After a moment he spoke again. "I wanted to talk to you tonight to ask a favor." he smiled thinly at the restrained violence that crossed her face. "It's something I asked you to do once before." He looked her straight in the eye. "I've still got some things to sort out, but somethings I see very clearly, and you, my dear marine, are on both those lists." He took her face in both his hands. "Wait for me, Sarah." His eyes pleaded as his voice broke over the words. 

"How long Harm?"

"As long as it takes." She pulled away from him. 

"I've waited quiet a while as it is, Flyboy." She tried humor through her tears.

"Just don't do anything crazy—like fall in love—without talking to me first." Harm tried to smile.

"Same goes." she responded. "How will we talk?"

"I'll write, call and email whenever it's safe, but that might not be very often."

"I'll wait, Rabb, but six months from our last contact. One letter, email, or phone call every six months or your screwed." She sighed running a shaky hand through her hair. "Think that's reasonable?"

"Yes ma'am." He snapped and leaned in to kiss her lips gently. "I'm pretty sure I'm in love with you, Sarah MacKenzie."

"Hmm. After seven years he's 'pretty sure' Get back to me when you're sure." She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, kissed him senseless, then walked him to the front door. Shutting it while he stood in the hall was the hardest thing she'd ever done.

  
  


She woke up precisely eight hours after she'd laid her head on the pillow and smiled at the note she found on the pillow beside her.

In Harm's scrawling hand it read:

_Chère Sarah,_

_Dans le délai de six mois à partir d'aujourd'hui, tu entendras parler de moi. Je te le promets._

_ Tu as tout de moi._

_ Au revoir, _

_ Harm_

She looked at the paper for a moment before she realize it was French. Struggling to translate, and wonder why he would write her this why, and when on earth he'd learn French she reread the words.

Dear Sarah,

No later than six months from right now you will hear from me. I promise.

You have all of me.

Goodbye,

Harm

Rolling over in her bed, Mac prepared to meet the dawning day.

  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  



	2. Chapter 3

A/N: I know I've already said this on the reviews page, but I think it merits repeating: Thanks SO MUCH to Lydia who came to my rescue in the form of a French Translator. I hope I didn't offend anyone by butchering the language normally I would've asked my sister, but she is currently in France for a 7 week internship. Anyway thanks again to Lydia for being honest in pointing out the problem and willing to provide a solution.

Thanks to all those who read and doubly to all those who take the time to review. Enjoy the show.

~*3: Waiting the Wait*~

JAG HQ

1420

The next several weeks kept Mac on her toes. She was constantly tired and becoming more and more irritable. Her friends worried about her when after five weeks she still looked ragged around the edges. Harriet, giving into her innate maternal instincts, finally confronted the Colonel. "Ma'am," she approached gingerly, "Is there something I can do?"

"What?" Mac looked at Harriet. "I'm fine." MacKenzie snapped. Then she shook her head.

Harriet nodded, and looked at her shoes. "Well, if you need someone to talk to." she said and backed out the door.

"Harriet! Wait!" Mac called to her friend. Shaking her head she looked up at the sweet blonde and appologized. "Harriet, I'm sorry. I'm feeling lousy and well its just no excuse for how've I--"

"Ma'am," Harriet started and stopped, "Mac," she amended with a nod. "No one around here expected you to take his leaving well, but five weeks?"

"What?" Mac was suddenly confused. Harriet stared at her for a moment then closed her eyes and blinked. "You're telling me that eveyone—_everyone—_thinks I'm wound up over Harm?"

"Well," Harriet started in a sing-song tone. "That was about the time all this started."

"Oh. My. God." Mac buried her head in her hands. "The Admiral?" she questioned fighting back a wave of nausea. When Harriet didn't answer she looked up. "Oh. My. God."

"Were we all wrong, Ma'am?" Harriet looked at her quizzically and shrugged. "I don't know, there's always been this...undercurrent with you two. It was a natural assumption that his leaving really bothered you."

"Harriet," Mac said more gently than perhaps she should be, "You weren't all completely wrong." Mac ran a hand over her calendar at the edge of her desk. "I just need to find a few answers for myself." _And I need to hear from Harm...badly._ She thought. Harriet stood and reached across the desk to lay hand on her firend's shoulder. 

"When you're ready to talk, Mac, let me know." When Mac looked up and smiled Harriet thought she saw the sheen of tears in the Marine's eyes, but they were gone as soon as they'd come.

As Mac packed up her things to leave for the day her phone shrilled insistently. Tired and grumpy she thought about letting it ring, but hoping against hope she picked it up. "MacKenzie." she greeted the caller. Static was audible on the line, but eve though the bad connection she recognized the voice.

"God it's good toher your voice." Harm said quietly.

"Harm." she said hoping her voice wouldn't break.

"I can't talk long—"static invaded-- "I'm just buying myself some more time on your deal." She could hear the smile in his voice and though she wasn't sure she could trust her own voice, she spoke.

"My time doesn't come cheap, Rabb."

"Things are good her, Mac. I'm hoping to wrap this thing up sooner rather than later." 

"Harm, I need--" she started to confided, but held back. Reaching across her desk, she flipped the page in her date book and eyed the appointment note she'd made for two weeks from tomorrow. "We should--" She stopped._ You aren't sure! S_ome dimly frieghtened voice in her brain whispered. _I don't know when I'll hear from him again! _A more urgent voice shouted. Always cautious, Mac listened to the whispered insistence.

"Sarah, I'm nearly out of time." he said looking over his shoulder into a crowded plaza.

"I need you." she finished quietly.

"As soon as I can." He smiled sadly at the longing in her voice. "Remember not to do anything crazy, MacKenzie." He ordered in a mockingly stern voice.

"Remember that you have a time table, Stickboy." she retorted through a rising wave of static. "Be careful." she finished all but yelling ove the din.

"I always am." he replied and could all but see her rolling her eyes to the ceiling. Suddenly the static was gone and his voice was clear as a bell. "G'night, Mac."

"Good night." she said and waited for the dialtone to tell her he was gone. 

  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  



	3. Chapters 4 and 5

A/N: This chapter will chronicle some of the events throughout Harm and Mac's Friendship and my personal take on those events. Scenes between the ~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~ are flashbacks to episodes already aired...

~*4: Looking Back, Standing Still, Moving Forward

Two weeks later, Sarah MacKenzie walked through the doors of her doctor's office and sighed as she sat in a chair. The enormous aquairium inset in the wall beside her was tranquil and hummed quietly as the fishe danced and played oblivious to her turmoil. "Sarah MacKenzie." a pretty blonde behind the sliding window called. Mac pulled at the soft knit top she wore over loose fitting linen pants. With a smile, the blonde asked for Mac's insurance card and driver's liscence. Mac pulled the information from her wallet and watched as the woman's brow furrowed. _They probably don't see military in here often._ With a shrug, the woman copied Mac's information and handed her a clipboard. "Fill this out and we'll be with you as soon as we can."

Mac walked to the chair she'd been sitting in and glared at the clip board for a moment before putting pen to paper. She stopped briefly when she reached the emergency contact information. She'd alwasys listed Harm. He was her closest friend, and with no family in the area, the arrangement had made sense. Mac pursed her lips and thought before entering Harriet's name and phone numbers. With another sigh. Mac worked her way through the paperwork quietly.

A couple of countries and wide expanse of ocean away Harmon Rabb sat relaxed in a fashionably decorated, comfortably lived in aprtment. Ella Fitzgerald played quietly on the expensive stereo equipment. Pulling out a cigar, he sat in an overstuffed chair and stared thoughtfully at the desert scene hung on the wall in front of him. Rather than lighting the cigar, he rolled it between his fingers and let his mind drift into a memory...

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~

That first meeting had been full of surprises for him. How much she resembled Diane had been the first, but the connection was broken the first time she spoke. Her voice was polite and low, but demanded not only attention but obedience. Her smile had been perfunctory; Harm had the distinct impression that if their superiors hadn't been present he'd had gotten little more than a glance form her. For a man who always turned female eyes it was something of a blow to the ego, but more than that it was a point of interest. They'd only met a few hours before, and he could already tell she was hiding something. She was standing on the road and being perfectly reasonable, but something was off kilter for Harm. Turning his back to her, he'd nodded and let her get in the car. It wasn't two minutes later that he had the helo pilot pulling her over. Her eyes had both aggitation, and though she would never admit it, admiration. He'd caught her quickly and easily. The car ride started with tense distrust, and Harm smiled as he remembered her cynicism and distrust. Playing on his expirience with women, he threw that infamous flyboy grin at her.

_"That's a very nice smile, and I'm sure most of the time it gets you what you want, but I don't know you, Commander, so if you don't mind, I'll keep my personal reasons to myself."_ Somewhere between stung and awed he'd wiped the grin off his face a shrugged. 

Despite being "taken prisoner," Harm offered to help O'Hara, and Mac in the process. While considering the offer Matt O'Hara showed his own admiration from Harm.

_Where'd you find this sailor, Sarah?"_

_"In a rose garden, Uncle Matt." _

This time when Harm smiled Mac smile back.

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~

And so it began Harm thought with a mild smile. He shook his head and went to the kitchen to dig up a lighter.

  
  


Back in D.C. Mac sat in the waiting room watching the fish and sorting through some memories of her own. Most of them brought her smiles, but those were the early memories. When they were getting to know one another, fostering their new partenarship one built on cynicism and banter—friendship came later.

~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"_If you have some evidence I should know about..." _She trailed off significantly.

_"You'll eventually get it, and then you can plea bargain." _He appeared to actually swagger as he siad it she thought.

_"In your dreams, Commander." _She's responded out of habit never considering the connotation of her words.

_"Oh, you don't want to be in my dreams, Major." _She'd raised an eyebrow at that, but played it straight.

_"Red light, Commander." _

_"Red light?"_ Suddenly he'd seemed just a little flustered. And that made her smile. "_There was nothing sexual in what I said, and if you think there was, then maybe, I should give you the red light." _With a shrug, she invited the scrutiny, but the look in his eyes told her there would be no witty come back this time. She lifted the corner of her mouth and walked on smiled. She like this one; he was fun, intellegent and completely uninterested in her as a woman. Mac sighed deciding his indifference in that department would be help to both their partenarship and their burgeoning friendship.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Sarah MacKenzie." Her name, called from the door leading to the back of the office roused Mac from her reverie. 

"Hi." She smiled at the nurse who led her to another, small waiting area. 

"Miss McKenzie? You'll wait here, the labtech will be by to take a blood sample then she'll take you to the examination room." The woman was older and kindly so mac smiled at her again.

"Are you all right, Miss McKenzie?" the nurse asked.

"I'm fine, just a little...out of sorts." Mac responded with a smile that didn't smack of sadness.

Mac sat down and watched the kindly nurse disappear around a corner. Looking throught the open door of the lab she caught sight of the scale and couldn't help but groan. She'd been eating like a horse the last few days. Comfort food she supposed. A quirk played at her mouth when another memory of harm assaulted her.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

_"Think you can stand, Marine?" _She looked at him incredulous.

_"Unless you plan to carry me." _

_"Well, maybe you should have laid off the Beltway burgers." _

_"Yeah, and you worked out more." _

_"I can still bitch about freezing my butt off, can't I?"_

_"Quit your whining. You've got ten percent more body fat then I do." _She just looked at for a second—but couldn't pass it up.

_"Are you calling me fat, stick boy." _

_"Stick boy? Women just naturally have more insulation then men." _She rolled her eyes and shot him a look that said 'Just put the shovel down, sailor, or you'll never get out of the whole you're big mouth's dug for you."

_~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*_

She picked up a magazine hoping to distract herself from thought of Harm, but of course, fate had other things in mind. She flipped the magazine open to a celebrity gossip column, and found a familiar face staring at her. 

The dark hair and blue eyes were older now, they held a new maturity and a greater understanding of her status in the world. Her smile was plastered on despite the large crowd surrounding her. Mac nearly chuckled. _So much for the image of pampered princess_ she thought. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Harm had naturally handled most of the his assignment himself, so Mac had been just a little surprised when he cam eot her and asked for a suggested plan of action. The formal event that had them dancing together wasn't pleasure, but Harm was being _really _obvious about it. Trying to lighten the mood and redirect Harm's attention before someone noticed his out of place behavior, Mac pat his shoulder and leaned back from him just enough to catch and hold his wandering eyes.

_"Harm, I know this is like dancing with your sister, but maybe you could pretend to like it." _She looked around pointedly.

_"Mac, I don't think of you as my sister." _

_"You don't?" _She raised a brow doubting the truth of the statement

_"I don't." _With that they both shrugged and danced until the royals were announced and all hell broke loose.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Mac looked up from the magazine's gossip column and smiled at the labtech who just walked in. "Hi," she nodded at the younger woman. "I don't suppose there's anyway to do this without the needles." The labtech looked at her with smiling sympathy. 

"Sorry, Sarah." she shook her head. "I'm Laurie. Unfortunately I have to take several blood samples, but I'll only have to use the one needle she said wrapping a rubbet touniquiet around Mac's upper arm. 

"Well, the Laurie, I guess you should call me Mac."

"All right, then, Mac." she sadi and while she had the tense Sarah McKenzie distracted she slid the needle in and was reward with only a slight jump.

Hundreds of miles away Ella Gave way to Frank Sinatra, and Harm drifted out of his memories long enough to check his email and galnce over a newspaper before he picked up his cell phone to make a scheduled check-in.

"Harold's Dry Cleaners." a distant voice answered.

"There's a stain on the cleaning I picked up this morning." Harm responded naturally and easily. 

"I'll connect you with the manager, sir." Harm heard a seris of clicks and buzzes before a familiar voice picked up on the other end.

"You're late." the irrate voice answered.

"That's how you can be sure it's me, Webb." Harm commented blandly.

"Everything on schedule?"

"Yep." Harm answered. "I was won--" He trailed off.

"What is it, Commander?"

"I've been doing some thinking, and I noticed my next scheduled drop isn't for another six days."

"And?" Webb questioned.

"There's someone at home I really need to see."

"Not a good idea, Harm."

"It's important, Clay."

"So's her life."

"I didn't say..."

"You didn't have to."

"I need to talk to her. The longer I'm here, the more dangerous this gets and--" 

Clay stopped him. "All right. Don't go out. Don't stay long. And tell her no one can know you were there."

"Thanks, Clay."

"Book your flight with the..." the was a puse and Harm heard the shuffling of papers. "O'Neil identity."

"All right I'll leave on the first flight—possibly tonight."

"Call HDC when you arrive back in the apartment." Webb said blandly. "Take care of this, Rabb. There won't be anymore day passes."

"Understood."

They hung up and Harm dialed Air France to book a seat on the midnight red eye arriving in NYC at 7 am, He would board his flight to Dulles an hour and a half later and arrive around nine a.m. Harm checked his key ring as he packed his bag—he couldn't go to his apartment so he'd go to Mac's. He ran a finger over the key and hoped she'd be okay with his being there again.

Harm reached for his pistol, then thought twice about packing it. His passport was that of a professor, this time not an air marshall. With a sigh he released the clip and put the separate pieces in his bedside table. Smiling he remembered Mac's provocation based on a similar weapon.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

_Do you mind if I strip it down?" _She asked with a cryptic twinkle in her eye. Harm's mind took a left turn—straight into the gutter.

_"What did you say?"   
_  
  


_"Your pistol." _She answered, with a straight face. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Harm's smile melted into a wry grin. Despite her claims to the contrary he had always been sure she was out to provoke him that day. It had worked better than she'd known. Zipping the over night bag he would carry on with him, Mar situated a wire rim pair of glasses on his nose and dawned a tweed jacket complete with leather elbow patches over his blue shirt and black slacks. He looked almost prozac—if an onlooker missed the sharp sting of suspicion in his cerulean eyes. Laying down on his bed he set an alarm for 2100 and rested as more memories of his time with Mac assaulted him.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

They'd been in Austrailia a while, and things were tense between him and Mac and even more tense between him and Brumby. He and Mac stood talking quietly on a ferry when the conversation turned in an intimate direction, and true to for he tried to change the subject.

_"That opera house is beautiful isn't it?" _

In true Mac form she wouldn't let him off the hook that easily._  
_  
  


_ "Smashing. So, what bothered you, that I went to the beach with Mic or that you thought I was topless?"   
_  
  


_"You weren't?" _

_ "Harmon Rabb! You're a prude!"   
_  
  


_ "I am not! Look, I don't care if you wanna go topless."   
_  
  


_ "You do if it's in front of Mic."   
_  
  


_"You work with the guy Mac! You wouldn't go topless in front of me would you?"   
  
"Is that a request?"_ They stared at one another for a long moment. Both seemed to be considering. Wieghing pros and cons. Harm looked up at the suspension bridge towering over them, and tried to change the subject again.

_ "You know they wrote eternity on this bridge on New Year's Eve?"   
_  
  


_"Is that how long we're going to wait?"_ There was a sadness in her voice that Harm couldn't ignore this time. _  
_  
  


_ "Mac..."   
_  
  


_ "We're not in Washington any more, we're not even on the same continent."   
_  
  


_ "That doesn't change who we are."   
_  
  


_ "Most men would disagree with you."   
_  
  


_ "I know, I disagree with me sometimes too."   
_  
  


_ "But you still can't let go."   
_  
  


_ "Not yet."_ Why? His mind screamed and her eyes inquired. _  
_  
  


_ "Your just like this with me aren't you?" _She shuttered her eyes and released a small sigh._  
_  
  


_ "Yeah, only with you."   
_  
  


_ "I suppose I should be flattered."   
_  
  


_ "You should Sarah." _He was sincere, and he was thinking. In his heart he knew she was the most important thing in his life, but his brain was having a hard time with the idea of transistion. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Harm sighed and turned over in the bed as he drfited seemlessly from memory to dream.

~*5: Between You, Me and the Flyboy on the Wall*~

Mac sat wring her hands together as the doctor reappeared at the door to her examination room. "Sarah, why don't you come into my office." Suddenly Mac was worried, but rather than say anything she gathered her purse and followed the neatly dressed woman to a lushly furnished and warmly decorated office. 

"Well, Sarah,"

"Mac, Ma'am." She said hoping to make the meeting alittle less formal and tense.

"Mac, then. It looks like you were right. You're pregnant." Doctor McGovern smiled at her, but when the shell shocked look she receved from Mac penetrated her happiness for the young woman she cleared her features of emotion and continued on with the facts. "Based on bloodwork and my examination I'd said your about--"

"Seven weeks." Mac interrupted her.

"Oh, you know the date of conception?"

"Yes." Mac responded looking up at the doctor. "The exact date. I've only--" she looked down to examine her shoes.

"I understand." Though she hated it, this was part of her job too. "Mac, I take it this is an...unplanned pregnancy?"

"You could say that." 

"In that case I'm obligated to be sure you're aware of all your options including adoption and termination." The statement cam off in a rushed blandly gruff manner.

"No." Mac shook her head. "I'm surprised, I'm shocked, but I'm not unhappy." she said just barely holding back the tears stinging the back of her eyes.

Dr. McGovern smiled again. "Then," she pulled out a sliding calendar. "We'll call you're due date November 23."

Mac's smile broke through just as the tears started falling.

"What is it, Mac?" The doctor was concerned.

"I'm just not sure how to tell him."

"Good luck." MacGovern said as the tired young Marine left her office.

Mac walked out of the doctor's office after receiving a small bag of mom-to-be-goodies including prenatal vitamins, The _What to Expect _seris and her little one's first pair of hand knitted booties. She walked into JAG Headquarters with a strange but contented look on her face. Harriett Sims Roberts noticed immediately. "Ma'am, are you all right?"

"Fine, Harriet." Mac responded and walked straight to her office and closed the door. She broedfly debated the pros and cons of telling the Admiral about her situation, but decided to wait until she had either told Harm or simply couldn't hide it anymore.

Hours later Harm arrived at her apratment after a long day discussing strategy and new intel with Webb. Sighing he rubbed his eyes and put his key into the lock. Before he could get in the door the phone was ringing. He decided to let her machine get it, and went to the bathroom to shower off the grime of travel. 

"Sarah, this is doctor McGovern's office...." Harm lost the voice in the noise of the shower spray and shrugged he'd ask her about it when she came home.

Back at JAG HQ Harriet walked into find Mac wringing something between her hands as she read file. "Ma'am," Harriet waited for Mac to acknowledge her before entering the room despite the open door. "Ma'am." she said a bit louder and winced as the Colonel looked up with a pained expression. 

"I'm sorry, Harriet. What can I do for you?"

"Ma'am it's nearly 1700." The younger woman glanced at the clock on the Bull Pen wall.

"I'm sorry I'm keeping you too late, aren't I?"

"No, Ma'am, it's all right, but it's also not like you to lose track of time."

Mac chuckled. I guess not." Mac started to pack her things up.

"Mac, if you need to talk..." she left the statement open.

"Harriet, would you like to get a cup of coffee?"

"Sure, Ma'a—Mac." she amended.

They walked out together and headed down the street. The walked in silence until they reached the Starbucks at the corner and both ordered their lattes.

"I know something's up with you, Mac. I just don't know what." She stopped considering her next words very carefully. "With everything you've done for Bud and me and little AJ, I'd like to help you, but I can't unless you let me in on whatever it is." she finished quickly, and breathlessly.

"I'm..." the word hung on the tip of her tongue so Mac started over. "Harriet, I have to know you won't tell anyone..." The silence spread out over their table. "Not even Bud... not yet."

"Mac, you can trust me...and Bud, but i'll keep this between us if that's what you want."

Mac let her first real smile in days sweep over face. "I'm pregnant." she smiled at her friend.

"Oh. My. God." Harriet said slowly, her vocie rising with each syllable.

"I know. You can't say anything, Harriet. I mean Harm doesn't even--" Mac stopped dead and the color and joy drained from her face.

"Mac, I'd assumed that anyway." The blonde smiled wistfully. "I've always known there was something special there." 

"There's not, Harriet. It was one night. He was--" Mac stopped herself. "I can't even tell him, and as bad as it sounds that's almost a relief for now."

"Ma'am if there's anything you need, just ask and I'll help you if I can."

"You already have, Harriet more than you can know." The two women stood and exchanged a brief, but warm hug. They parted closer friends than they'd ever been. Mac placed a hand over her flat abdomen. Already something to thank the little life grown inside her for. Her smile returned brighter than ever. She drove to her apartment listening to Ella and Louis duke it out over tomAtoes and tomOtoes.

  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  



	4. Chapter 6

A/N: I'm really sorry for the LONG delay. I've got really busy in the really real world. Harm and Mac had to take a back seat. Hopefully this part of the story will make up for the time delay. The Part between the *@*@*@*@*@*@* is a flashback to the beginning of the story, but not to a previously aired episode. Everybody confused? All right then let's get started.

~*6: Lies of Omission*~

Mac slid her key in the lock and slumped her shoulders as she pushed the door open. She nearly dropped her briefcase and the bad from Dr. McGovern. There were tall vanilla scented candles burning on her dining room table, which was set for two. Her brow crinkled as she looked around for the culprit. She caught sight of him closing the door to her bedroom and sighed quietly. Tiny droplets of water from his shower still clung to his hair, and the emerald shirt he'd chose lent a aqua color to the eyes that caught and held hers.

"Mac." He said leaning against the door jamb. That smile she'd missed so much over the last few weeks spread dangerously across his face. _Such a contrast _she thought remembering the heart broken man who'd come back to her door only hours before he was to board a plane for destinations unknown. Her mind wandered as he began to cross the room toward her.

*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*

Mac heard the light knock on her door but thought for a moment that she'd imagined it. She stayed on the couch watching the rain fall in a soft mist to the street below. Then she heard it again, louder, but still tentative. Getting up, she wiped at the tears on her cheeks and looked through the peep hole. The sight of Harmon Rabb Jr. soaked, shivering, and pained twisted her heart. Closing the door on him earlier in the evening had been the hardest decision of her life, opening the door to him after seeing him broken and needing was the easiest. 

Harm stood there disparately trying to look stoic, knowing he was failing. He heard her approach the door and he prayed she would open it. He needed to talk—to..._Hell,_ he thought, _I just need her. _When he heard the lock slid over and the door creak open he opened his eyes to see Mac standing in her long silk robe and shook his head.

"Mac." he whispered.

"Harm." she nodded as he shuffled past her dripping on the carpet. She was too caught up in him to care.

"I can't wait anymore."

"So you've made some decisions?" She asked, praying for the right answer.

"No. I haven't I—I don't know how--." He stopped and shook his head. When he looked up at her, tears stood in his eyes. She walked to him and laid her hands on his shoulders. Pulling herself onto her toes she laid her lips on his cheek and back away smiling.

"It's all right, Harm. I don't have to have to words." _Yet. _Her mind whispered.

"Mac." Harm said taking her face in his hand. She sighed quietly. "Sarah." He said placing his other had on her cheek. Mac looked him in the eye realizing that he saw and cared for her, as a friend, as a woman. Harm just looked at her for a long minute,watching for the doubts he expected instead she smiled, reached up took his hand and lead him to her bedroom.

*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*

He took his last step and wrapped her in a massive hug.

"I thought..."

"Don't ask."

"Mmm. Okay." she said laying her head against his chest. Looking up at him she smiled. "Hi."

"Hi." She smiled down at her and leaned down to place kiss on her lips. 

"What's for dinner?" She asked with a wry twist of her lips.

Harm's chuckle rumbled low in his chest. "Leave it to you, Marine. Eggplant parmesean."

"Leave it to you, Sailor." She said wrinkling her nose at his choice of menu. 

"Try it. If you hate it I'll take you over to the Beltway." He rolled his eyes, illicting a smile.

Later, the eggplant eaten by a surprised Mac, they lay on the couch with the TV flashing in front of them. _Tell him!_ Mac's mind screamed at her. Her head lay on his leg as she looked up at him. "Harm," She started, but the words shriveled in her throat when he looked down at her. He ran a hand over her hair, sat her up, pulled her from the couch and into the bedroom.

Later, when they were spent, she traced the swirls of dark hair on his chest. "You'll be leaving tomorrow?"

"Yeah." He said with just a hint of smile, and checked his watch. "In eleven hours, thirty three minutes and fifty seconds."

"Cheater." she smiled against his chest.

"Yeah, well..." he shrugged and ran a hand over her shoulder. 

"I miss you, Harm." She whispered. He tightened his grip on her and rubbed her back through the sheet over them. A few minutes later her breathing evened out and he sighed. She opened her eyes and started to speak. His sudden words stopped her cold.

"I love you, Sarah." 

  
  


  
  


  
  



	5. Chapter 7

~*7: Lies of Admission*~

Mac woke to an empty, cold bed and shivered. Her mind told her that harm had needed to go...had a job to do. Her heart screamed that he should've stayed to say good bye. The tears stung behind her eyes. He had no idea she'd heard him last night. She shook her head which snapped up at the sound of the bathroom door opening. "Hey." The lines in her brow smoothed and a grin spread across his face. "You didn't think I'd left, did you?"

"It crossed my mind." She nodded, toying with the blankets.

He crossed to the bed and slid across the top of the blankets to hold her. "I won't leave without saying goodbye, Mac."

"I know." she nodded, and suddenly the room took a sickening turn. "Um, Harm." she said pushing him away and flipping the sheets out of her way.

"Mac?" Harm called after her. After a minute she answered. 

"I'm all right. Just give me a minute." _Or 385,920. _She thought with a cynical roll of the eyes. After brushing her teeth Mac grabbed the door knob and made sure the nausea had passed. Then she thanked heaven for such a slight case of morning sickness. As she swung the door open, her mind begged her to tell him, but her heart begged for just a few more hours of peace before he had to leave. She walked over the phone and picked it up. 

"You all right?"

"Yeah," she said putting her hand to her forehead. "Just a touch of the flu I think." She grinned. Punching in the numbers she did a fair job of feigning illness while Harm tickled her feet. "No, Tiner, I'll be fine. If I'm not totally better by tomorrow, I'll see the doc." When he responded, she started to hang up, but stopped. "Tiner!" she shouted hoping to stop him before he ended the call. When the petty office answered she smiled. "Tell, Harriet I'm really fine." she asked. "Thanks."

"I could watch you smile all day, Marine."

Mac raised her eyebrows suggestively and settled back against him. "What do you want to do today?"

"I was thinking about a movie, and lunch before I catch my plane."

"Sounds good. I'll get ready. Taking her robe from the post ofher headboard she wrapped around her and headed for the shower. Harm decided the best way to distract himself from the thought of her taking a shower was to cook breakfast. While searching the sparsely stocked kitchen for dill he noticed the message light flashing on her machine. Searching out paper and taking up a pen he pushed the paly button on the machine. The message played and he'd gotten so far as to write down Dr. MacGovern when he heard Mac shriek from the bathroom.

"Mac?"

"Harm!" she pulled back the curtain and pointed toward the top of the shower. "Bug, big. Huge, enormous bug."

"Mac." Harm rolled his eyes. "Are you telling me that a _Marine _is scared of a roach."

"Harm! It's the size of my _hand!_" She exaggerated.

"All right, Harmon Rabb to the rescue." He Shook his head and went to get bug spary and a paper towel. By the time he'd sparyed the pest, buried him "at sea," and finished breakfast Mac was ready to go out. Harm knew she was in the room and he smiled before he looked up. "The big bad bug is gone and..." his eyes looked up to take in the vision. Red, nearly strapless, and knee skimming. She smiled innocently at him and walked to the closet to dig out her favorite white cardigan. After he'd removed the food from the stobve Harm started across the room, his mout hanging open. "That's new."

"Yeah." Mac shurgged bringing the already high hemline up a full inch. "But I can't find my sweater." When she stood up straight he could see the waistline nipped in by an ornate buckle at the small of her back.

"Uh, Mac?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you really need the sweater?"

"Well, it's always cold in those theatres."

"What if we skip the movie?"

She turned on him. "Why would we do that, Commander?"

He walked over, leaned down putting his lips very close to her ear and whispered. Mac raised one eye brow, then the other. She pushed him back and looked him in the eye. "Really?"

He nodded.

"Well, I'd like to see you try." She said with enough challenge in her voice to encite his picking her up and carrying her back to the bedroom.

A few hours later, thye crawled out of bed together and dressed for lunch. As Mac was reapplying her lipstick Harm looked up and smiled at her. "While I was fixing breakfast, I checked your machine."

"Anything interesting?"

"Naa. Just a message from a doctor McGovern." The lipstick slipped from Mac's hand and clattered into to porcelian sink below. "Mac? You all right?"

"Yeah, what was the message?"

"Oh, I don't know you started squelaing like a girl before I could write it down."

She chuckled nervously. "I'll get it later. I bet it's about my perscription."

"All right." Harm eyed her cautiously and decided the subject had to be brought up. "Mac...we...Well we can't hide this forever, one looka dn Harriet will _know._" Harm waited for her to respond, but only recevied a quizzical stare from her so her continued. Bud might never figure it out with out Harriet's help, but Sturgis...Coates, Tiner, The Admiral...these are not dumb people...for that matter neither is Bud...he's just...gullible."

"In a really sweet way." she nodded all but ignoring the rest of his comments.

"Mac, say something about this."

"I don't know, Harm." She sighed and ran a hand thru her hair.

"Well, I don't know how it will affect our carreers, but its something we have to confront before I'm back to trying cases in our courtroom, Your Honor."

"Yeah, that's true I suppose."

"Let me think about it a while, and the next time you get in touch I'll have answer...a solution."

"All right." Harm smiled at her and looped his arm through hers as they made their way to the door.

"What'cha gonna feed me, Salior."

"God, you're like that plant from that play."

"Feed me!" she quoted. Harm rolled his eyes. "That's okay Flyboy, if I'm the plant you're the geek." He groaned.

The rest of the day passed in peace. Harm noticed Mac pressing her stomach a couple of times in the car, but chocked it up to motion sickness. Mac let a hundred oppurtunities to tell him slip by, but the truth was she was scared to tell him. She'd just gotten her hands on him and she wasn't ready to risk losing him. Sighing she pressed her hand against her flat abdomen and wished she had more courage when it came to her personal life. Though she knew he couldn't see her, she lifted a hand as his planed gathered speed on the runway and left the ground. 

  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  



	6. Chapter 8

~*8:Tell Him About It*~

Harriet Sims Roberts waited anxiously for her friend at the same Starbuck table they'd sat at before. She was glad Mac had finally opened up to her about Harm. The man was enough to drive a woman crazy. Harriet shook her head slightly, but she smile when she saw Mac come around the corner.

"Hi," Mac nodded as she order her decaf latte. She walked over to Harriet with a smile still on her lips. 

"Hi," Harriet said with a hint of suspicion in her blue eyes. "What's up?"

"Harm was here."

"Really?" Harriet thought a moment. "Isn't he supposed to be overseas somewhere?"

"Yeah, he 'took a day off'." Mac shrugged.

"Wow, I didn't know the CIA did that."

"Me either but it was great to have him here for a day."

"So, what did he say?" Harriet was suddenly excited for her friends.

The smile vanished from Mac's lips. "I didn't...I couldn't..."

"Mac!" Harriet said, shocked. "What stopped you?"

"A hundred times I started to tell him, but everytime I stopped short. I didn't want to ruin our one day. God only knows when I'll get another one."

"Mac, I understand that—remember when I bought the house?"

"Yeah. I know and I have to tell the Admiral at some point." The usually self-possessed Marine shook her head and put her face down in her hands. "Can we have lunch another day?" Harriet nodded. "I have have to run back to Doctor McGovern's. I left my vitamin prescription there."

Harriet smiled and nodded. "The forgetfulness sonly gets worse."

"Thanks, Harriet." Mac rolled her eyes but grinned just a little sadly.

  
  


JAG HQ

1035

Petty Officer Jason Tiner hovered outside Colonel MacKenzie's door. He squirmed a little. His proximity made it possible for him to hear her side of the phone call she was making. He wasn't eavesdropping...the Admiral wanted to see her. Shuffling his feet he looked down at the file he was to carry to Harriet. He'd go do that, maybe she'd be off the phone when he got back...

"Yes, no, just the vitamins, the morning sickness is managable." Tiner stopped mid turn. _ Morning sickness?_ "No, I made my next appointment while I was there." Not wanting to intrude but paralyzed by fascination and curiosity Tiner stood stock still. "All right." Mac said then stopped. "How long until we do an ultrasound?" Tiner winced. _Ultrasound. _ He walked over to Harriet's desk with a pained expression and lay the file on her large desk calendar. 

Harriet saw him and walked over. "Tiner everything all right?"

He looked up, but knew it was no one's business so he nodded. "Yes, Ma'am, just got a little shocking news."

"Hope it works out, Tiner."

"Me too, Ma'am." He sighed and walked back to Mac's door. With a curt knock he stood in the open doorway and nodded. "The Admiral would like to see you this afternoon ma'am. The Huddleston case."

"Thanks, Tiner." she smiled and wondered silently.

  
  


The next two months passed slowly and quietly for Mac. She and Harriet met at least twice a week for lunch and a talk, but Mac had heard nothing from Harm since he'd left her at the airport . When she went back for this month's doctor's appointment MacGovern had scared saying that she heard a murmur under the baby's heart beat. They'd scheduled an ultrasound to be sure everything was okay with the baby. She sat across from Harriet the day before her appointment and chewed nervously at her lip. 

"Mac, I'm sure every thing's fine." As she felt obligated to at every lunch she shared with mac Harriet pointed out that she' feel better if she told Harm what was going on. 

"I know, every thing's all right." Mac nodded. "I'll tell Harm when I talk to him again, Harriet." She blew out a nervous breath. 

"do you want me to go the appoint with you tomorrow?" Harriet asked knowing what it was like to fear for a life your were carrying. 

"Would you?"

"Of course I would." Harriet squeezed Mac's hand quickly the stood. "I have to get back to the office." I'll talk to the Admiral about getting a couple hours off tomorrow."

"Thanks, Harriet."

The blond shrugged with a smile. "What're friends for?"

Mac sat and stared across the street wondering what she would've done without Harriet theses last three months. As she stood she adjusted the jacket of her uniform. Everything was fitting her just a little tighter everyday. She shook her head. Before long she wouldn't have to _tell_ anyone—they just have to look at her ever growing belly. Mac shrugged and started the short walk back to the courtroom.

A couple hours later she got off the elevator and headed for her office. Harriet stopped her and let know she'd meet her at 1400 to go to appointment. After talking briefly with Harriet, Mac walked into eh Bull Pen, and turned to go to her office just as a Petty Officer Coates turned to corner and slammed into her with the mail cart. Mac sat down hard on her butt. Coated came around the cart, her eyes wide and her mouth despartely searching for an apology. It was Tiner however that brought everyone's attention to Mac, who'd placed a protective hand on her abdomen as she fell. "Colonel!" Tiner called loudly as she fell. He jumped over a desk and was at Mac's side in three seconds flat. Mac looked up and him, her eyes huge. "You all right ma'am?"

"I'm fine, Tiner. It was just a mail cart." She shook her head as he took her elbow.

"I know, but in--" he stopped before saying _your condition_ And Mac seemed preoccupied with forgiving Coates to notice his slip. Tiner breathed a quick sigh of relief and turned back to his desk. There were several curious looks directed at him, and more than a few speculative whispers about Mac and him. 

  
  


The next day flew by and Mac got ready to go to her appointment. Harriet was to meet her at her car at 1400, but Mac would be leaving around1330. Mac piled folders on her desk in the order she needed to take care of them in the morning. Stuck to the bottom of one of those folders was the letter requesting transfer she'd written a week ago. It detailed the imminent retirement of the JAG officer in King's Bay Georgia. Mac could take over there, with a much lightened case load and a great environment to raise a baby. She smiled at the thought of white picket fences, a great if less stressful career, a baby instead of a man...

_"And comfortable shoes...lots of comfortable shoes..."_

The memory ripped at her heart, but she didn't know of another way. She wasn't scared to tell Harm, she was scared to lose him. She'd lost them all some how...Chris, Dalton,Mic...she'd pushed them away, gotten them killed, sent them packing...

_"Every man Mac's been involved with is dead or wishes he was."_

Harm's voice mocked her. She didn't want to hurt Harm, but...she looked up at the knock on her door. Harriet stood there giving her a quizzical look.

"Yes?" Mac asked them her internal clock re-engaged. "1342." She said quickly laying the letter on top of the folders on her desk. "I gotta go." Harriet nodded and smiled then went back to her desk, as she sat down she watched mac do something she never did. The colonel locked the door to her office.

  
  


Seventeen Minutes later Harriet Sims sat in Mac's car and shook her head. "You'll have to trade this in."

"You're crazy." Mac sat and ran loving hand along the steering wheel of her Corvette. "I'll buy a family car, but the Vette will stay in the garage."

Harriet laughed. They stopped the car ans walked up to the doctor's office chatting over office work and gossip. Harriet admired the tranquil waiting room Mac's doctor offered. They sat for ten minutes Harriet watching Mac chew at her lipstick. She thought she might comfort her, but decided to let her deal with the unease her own way...no matter what Harriet said she'd just do and think what she wanted.

The nurse called Mac and lead them to a exam room with a complicated looking TV monitor. "Did you bring a tape?" The nurse asked. 

"No, was I supposed to?"

"Some people do, they like to..." she'd started when Harriet hand her a tape she'd dug out her purse.

Mac gave Harriet a thankful smile. Harriet shrugged. "Nervous as you've been I thought you might forget."

The nurse left them room and with in minutes Doctor MacGovern took her place. "Hello, Mac. We're just going to take a quick look to be sure everything is okay. It's still too early to get an idea on the sex of the baby, but you'll be able to hear the heartbeat, just like we did in your last exam, and this time there'll be pictures of the baby. Mostly shapes and outlines, but you'll see the little one clearly."

"Doctor MacGovern, this is my friend Harriet. I've been so nervous Harriet agreed to come a be my moral support."

"Good. Well, let's get to the show then shall we?" Harriet watched Mac grimace as the doctor spread clear gel on her stomach. "I know, but you do what you have to." She moved the "camera" as Mac thought of it around a couple times then stopped focusing on one area. "See there, the little flutter. It's fast, but that's normal and healthy she continued as she tapped out Mac's information on the screen, then she took the point and hover over the flutter Mac and Harriet watched with rapt fascination. She labeled it "1" and hovered over a second flutter, just as distinct once you looked and labeled it "2."

Harriet's eyes grew big a s saucers. Mac looked from her friend tot he doctor to the screen in rapid succession. Harriet finally spoke, "Twins?"

The doctor smiled and looked down at Mac. "Yep. Two for the price of one." She joked. 

Mac just continued to stare. A minute later she found her voice. "They're healthy?"

"Perfectly."

Mac lay her head back and shook it caught somewhere between elation and shock.

  
  



	7. Chapter 9

A/N: All right, my Mac/Harm lovers are going to hate me, but only briefly. I promise this will be cleared up eventually. It's all for the drama.

~*9: No Way Out*~

Mac leaned back in her chair and sighed up at the celiling. _Twins. I knew it ran in my family, but jeez!_ Her thoughts wandered promptingher to review the letter she'd written earlier. The details were all there, the new billet openning up, Mac's assurance that she'd truly enjoyed her time at JAG. She rubbed at the bridge of her nose and ran a hand over her stomach. She would have to be leaving soon. The billet in King's Bay would be open in two weeks. She needed to talk to the Admiral—tomorrow. He didn't need to find a replacement lawyer but a judge...well that could make things a little more complicated. Stacking folders and loose paperwork together in the order they needed to be taken care of, she pushed back from her desk and stood. The room took a sickening spin. She sat back down and waited for the dizziness to pass. She shook her head. She'd been so busy that she ignored the grumbling of her stomach for the last several hours. Feeling better she dug change out for the vending machine in the break room and pulled her keys out. 

When she pulled the car to a silent halt in front of her building Mac hesitated before getting out of the car. Just as she'd done everyday since Harm had left she prayed that he'd left her a message, sent her a postcard or and email. Thus far she'd been disappointed. She pushed the door open and walked inside. Dropping her keys on the table and her chinese takeout on thekitchen counter she hit the play button on her machine and rounded the corner to get a plate and a fork. The machine rewound noisily and clicked then started to play.

"Mac, hey, it's Chloe." the sweet voice told her uneccessarily. "I just wanted to catch up. Call me when you get a chance."

The machine beeped and started into the next message. "Hi, Miss MacKenzie, We're thrilled to inform you that you've been chosen..." Mac reached across the counter to fast forward. 

"Mac," Harriet's voice filled the room. "You were still working when I left and I wanted to be sure that you were all right. Call me."

The machine beeped again, and clicked over to silence. Then beeped, clicked into sillence again. Mac frowned and hit the erase button. Sighing she finished up her dinner and tea, rinsed her dished and headed for her bed. 

  
  


Harm stood outside his apartment waiting for an informant to show up. He'd been waiting for nearly an hour spending the time wondering why Mac hadn't answered the phone. With the time difference it would be nearly six pm in Washington. Concern welled up in him unbidden. _She's a big girl—a Marine for crying out loud, Rabb. She can take care of herself._ His thoughts skimmed over a hundred different memories that proved she could take car eof herself and a hundred more that proved she needed him. He sighed and looked across the street to see his informant approaching the drop point. He shrugged his shoulders and resigned himself to being worried for no reason he could discern. He watched the tall blonde drop her purse next to the briefcase he was to pick up. Harm rolled his shoulders and stepped out of the shadows and ran across the street. Harm bent to retrieve the briefcase. "Ma'am?" He called and waited for the blonde to turn toward him. "Miss?" He called in an accent belying his California birth placing him as an American from the Southeast. He bent to pick up the purse. "You dropped this." He said as the woman turned her perfect blue eyes on him. 

"_Merci._" She said curving her nicely shaped, heavily painted lips. The twinkle in her eye made the smile less than innocent.

"You're welcome, Ma'am." Harm drawled with a nodd.Taking a firm grip on the briefcase, he walked away from her and back to his apartment.

The phone call he placed was to a pizzaria down the street three blocks. Within fifteen minutes Calyton Weeb stood at his door.

"Thanks, Harm."

"Yeah, Whatever, Clay."

"Look I know you don't like being here, but the likelihood we'll get that RIO back through diplomatic channels in the next few weeks is slim. We're goingto need you here—mentally and physically."

"I know the job, Webb."

"All right, don't get agitated with me. You're the one who demanded to be on the team."

"I've known Skates most of my adult life, Webb. You better believe I'm here to help her."

"How's Mac?" Clay asked changing the subject without really changing it.

"Last time I talked to her she was fine, but something's on her mind—something she's not telling me."

"Worried?"

"A little."

"Call her." Webb said holding his phone out to him.

"On that?" Harm looked at him skeptically. "I don't think so."

"Look, it's my personal phone, Rabb. Nobody's listening."

Harm looked at the phone then regarded the spook. He seemed sincere enough. "All right, but I'm warning you, Webb--"

Clay held up a hand. 'I know, I know." He shook his head and turned to leave.

Harm dialed Mac at home hoping she'd made it back from the office. On the second ring she picked up her voice groggy.

"MacKenzie." She stifled a yawn.

"Mac?"

Harm's voice filled her mind and she rubbed at her eyes unsure if she was awake or still dreaming. "Harm?"

"Yeah. Mac are you all right?" He sounded concerned.

"Yeah. I've been a little under the weather."

"You sure you're all right?"

"I'm sure." she infused confidence she didn't really feel into her voice. "How're things going there?"

"They've actually taken a turn for the worse." He turned as a door opened behind him. "It might take longer than I'd hoped."

She swallowed the sigh of disappointment that rose up in her throat. "Just be safe, Rabb." 

"I will be." He promised her. "Are you taking care of yourself, Mac?"

"Yes, Commander. But there's something I need to talk to you about." She said letting a smile creep over her face as she ran a hand over her stomach. "I probably should've told you while you were here, but I wasn't--" She stopped and both the smile and hand dropped suddenly as she heard a voice in the back ground.

"That was wonderful." The throaty female voice purred. Harm turned to glare at her then look at the phone. She shrugged and made no effort to lower the volume of her end of the conversation with Webb. Neither made an effort to leave the room.

"Listen, Mac, Let me..."

"Yeah," she cut him off. "You have to go. I hear that you have—um, company. I'd hate to interrupt."

"Mac." Harm intoned with a tone that said _Don't jump to conclusions, Colonel._

But she'd already reached her conclusions. Angry tears built and stung the back of her eyes and throat, but she refused to let them fall. Setting the phone into the cradle as gently as her temple allowed, she stood and looked over the letter she'd written again. King's Bay was going to be a step down for her carreer, but she and her babies would be happy there. Sighing she picked up the pen on her desk and signed her name with a determined flourish. Letting the Marine in her take over she walked over to the coffee table and reviewed the files lying open there.

  
  


JAG HQ

0745

Delivering her request letter to the Admiral personally wasn't the best option for her, but ti would keep the scuttlebutt of her departure to a minimum. Mac knew that Harm was still sending email to Bud and Sturgis on the rare occasion. He'd tried to call back last night, but she'd let the machine pick up. The funny thing was he'd sounded confused—like he didn't understand why she was upset. Mac shook her head. It wasn't like Harm had ever been the commitment type. She was just glad she'd been cut off by his _visitor _before she'd spilled the beans. Mac couldn't help but draw a mental picutre of the woman she'd heard. She was probably blonde, leggy, brainless and easygoing. Mac could claim none of those attributes. Sighing she ran a hand over her letter and knocked determinedly on the wooden door in front of her. "Enter." She once again let the Marine take control and shoved the woman in her to the back burner. 

"Good Morning, Colonel." The Admiral acknowledged with out looking up. "At ease." She shifted her weight easily and waited for his eyes to engage hers. When they did he spoke. 'What's so important that it couldn't wait until the staff meeting in," he checked his watch. "Ten minutes."

"I wanted to get this out of the way first thing, Sir." She handed him the letter. "I want to keep scuttlebutt to a minimum." He nodded and his brow furrowed—signs that he was revving up.

"What exactly is the reason for this request, Colonel." She was silent. "You realize it's carrer suicide?"

"Yes, Sir." She took a deep breath and prpared to give him the truth—or most of it anyway.. "I'm not going to be able to maintain the workload here, Sir."

"Because."

"I'll be busy caring for twin newborns, Sir.'3

AJ's eyes nearly opped out of his head. "Twins?" he choked out. "Mac," he got up and approached her. "You're pregnant?"

A ghostly smile spread across her face. "Yes, Sir. Only you and Harriet know, Sir."

"Harm?" he asked the question knowing it was loaded.

"No, Sir." She answered giving the loaded answer back to him.

"Well, if this is what you want, Mac, I guess i'll grant the request, but you should know that this time you won't be able to take it back. The transfer will be permenant."

"So will the twins, Sir."

"Good point." He raised his brows. "Mac, is there anything I can do to change your mind?"

"No, Sir."

"Any ideas on your predecessor?

"I think Bud is ready, Sir, it would answer all his problems regarding limited duty status."

" True. All right, when will you tell everyone?"

"As soon as possible, Sir. The King's Bay billet opens in two weeks."

AJ nodded and put the letter in his in box hoping he wouldn't have to process it. "Let's go to the staff meeting you can start there."

After the staff meeting, there were shocked faces and confused looks. Mac had chosen to keep the pregnancy, and her new billet to herself and the Admiral and Harriet seemed to understand.

Jason Tiner, on the other hand was less confused and more concerned.

  
  


  
  



	8. Chapter 10

A/N: I'm really sorry this took so long; the real world took over my time for a few weeks.

  
  


~*10: 2 Sailors and a Truck*~

Mac sighed as she finished packing the last of her personal boxes. She looked out at the unseasonally windy May Tuesday. She'd talked with Harriet and Bud agreeing to have them both come and visit her when she was settled in King's Bay. She looked up as she heard the moving truck stop outside. She briefly regretted her decision to go forward with the move, but figured the regret would soon subside as her babies grew and she raised them. She was always hearing that children changed everything...she desparately hoped they were right. She would need something to get her past the whole thing with Harm. She smiled as she thought of him despite his absence and fear of commitment. The movers began packing books and pots and pans and Mac walked from room to room with her checklist.

  
  


Two days later she was in her new house in King's Bay, and making her appointment with her new OB/GYN. Harriet called her later in the day as she had since Mac had taken several personal days to get ready for the move, and as always she tried to convince her that she didn't belong in King's Bay. But the more she saw of the place the more certain Mac became that she was in the perfect place to see her dream of a big house, beautiful family, great carreer, and _shoes. _Harm's voice mokced her, even here, but she shook her head and decided to take a walk. It was hotter than DC so she changed from her jeans into an old pair of shorts. The house was only a few miles form the base, and the walking trail closest to her house lead straight to it. When she was feeling ambitious she might walk to work. The idea captapulted her thoughts into the future several months and she spent a happy, relaxed hour imagining her new life with her children. 

It was twenty-three weeks later that she started seening Doctor Montogomery, her OB weekly. She headed into the office for an ultrasound, the fourth of her pregnancy. She hoping to get a gender on the twins—or at least one of them—today. The sun was buried beneath ominuos clouds that belied the wieghty heat of late September. She pulled the Vette into a space and swore for the hundreth time that she would start driving the minivan tomorrow her evergrowing waistline making it difficult to sqeeze behind the wheel of the Vette and still reach the pedals. She looked at the green leaves all around her, the summer lasted so much longer here than in DC she though feeling only a slight pang of regret and longing for her old life. The changing seasons were beautiful in DC, but here the summer lingered heavily on the salt air. She went into the office and smiled at the receptionist as she signed in. Doctor Montogomery's associates had seen her in the previous weeks in case one of them was on call when whe went into labor, and with twins at 33 weeks she could go into labor at anytime. She smiled again at the thought as she followed Sheryl, her usual nurse into the ultrasound exam room and handed over a tape, the same one Harriet had given her all those weeks ago. She watched as the nurse fast-forwarded past the previous three ultrasounds to a blank spot on the tape. Mac leaned back and sighed. While her bulging belly was measured. The rest of her didn't seem to have grown at all. 

She sighed remembering Harriet go through her pregnancy. Bud was hysterical—unable to say _anything _right in those last surprising hours. Mac missed them, and so many things in her daily routine had changed. The banter that had spiced the days in JAG HQ in DC didn't exist in the King's Bay JAG office. The interesting high profile cases had given way to petty theft and Living Will read throughs. Mac shook her head as the nurse got ready to spread the cold clear gel over her belly. 

"It's getting close to D-day, Sarah." Her doctor, Abby Montogomery nodded toward the calendar on the wall.

"I know." The pretty brunette smiled at the doctor, but the smile seemed just a little sad. 

"Do you have names picked out?"

"Not yet, I wanted to try and get genders on the little ones." She told the Dr. Montogomery as the clear picture of her babies appeared on the screen. The pretty red headed doctor smiled and moved the scanner around trying to get a clear picture.

"Well, they're active aren't they?"

"You have no idea." Mac rolled her eyes thinking of the sleepless nights she'd spent feeling them rock and roll in there. She'd get up, clean the kitchen or vacuum at 3 am and they'd go right to sleep.

"Well, apparently, Mom, they'd like to surprise you 'cause they're just not cooporating." Abby shrugged. 

Mac rolled her eyes. " Stubborn. I should've known." 

"Well, let's take a look." The Dr. Montogomery said quietly, and announced that Mac was dialated a centimeter and a half. "Contractions?"

"A few Braxton Hicks, but if I get up and wak they go away."

'Mmm." The doctor commented as she wrote in Mac's chart. "And you're still working?"

"I'm trying to wait as long as possible to leave the office."

"Sarah," Abby looked her in the eye. "A baby can be a handful even for a married couple. Newborn twins will be difficult to handle alone if you're not prepared."

"The nursery is set up and ready to go, the cottage is baby proofed..."

"That's not what I mean. I want to be sure--" Abby stopped and reconsidered. "I haven't heard you so much as metion their father once, Sarah."

"Not in the picture."

"His choice or yours?"

"Mine."

"And he doensn't even want contact with his children?" Dr. Montogomery seemed irritated and shocked by the idea, those emtions faded to concern when her patient's face went white. "Sarah?"

"He doesn't know."

"You left and din't tell him."

"Pretty much."

Abby sighed. "Tell you what, you're my last patient before lunch. Why don't you get dressed and meet me in the waiting room. We'll go eat and talk."

Mac nodded and her color returned slowly.

  
  


Several hundred miles northbound on the Eastern Seaboard Harmon Rabb Jr. stepped off a plane and into Dulles International. He rolled his shoulders and grabbed a cab. "Georgetown." He said to the driver. He threw his bags on the floor of his apartment and stripped off his jacket as he headed for the phone. He pushed the speed dial for Mac and furrowed his brows at the "this number has been disconnencted" message. He'd been totally incommunicado for the last several months of his life. No email to Bud or Strugis, he'd even been told not to have anyone pick him up at the airport. He sighed and threw his coat back on. Climbing into his neglectd SUV he smiled as she cranked and purred. Strugis had been taking the Jeep out occasionally he thought with a smile. He drove to Mac's place and used his key to get into the apartment when she didn't answer his insistent knocking. Stepping through the door and intot he empty apartment his stomach dropped to his feet, caught between horror, concern and anger.

Pulling his cell out he called Harriet. The phone rang twice before Bud picked it up.

"Hello?" His gentle tenor asked.

"Bud." Harm barked a little harshly.

"Commander Rabb?" Bud sounded shocked and Harriet's jaw dropped as Bud turned to look at her. "Good to hear from you, sir."

"Put Harriet on, Bud."

"Yes, sir." Bud held the phone out to Harriet and harm could hear a vague and whispered argument on the line. 

"Sir?"

"Where is she, Harriet?"

"She, sir?" Harriet tried playing dumb.

"Colonel MacKenzie, where is she, Lt?"

"I—she just left, sir, she didn't say where she was going, she just announced it in staff meeting a few months ago."

"Mac didn't even tell you where she was going, Harriet."

"N-no, sir." she hesitated—technically Mac _hadn't_ told her—she knew from the paperwork.

"Harriet, if you know, tell me, it's important."

"I can't, Sir. It's not my place." Harriet's voice was sad but firm. 

"Harriet." she heard the plea in his voice as she heard the knock on the door. "I love her. I'm scared." he swallowed unshed tears as Harriet opened the door and sighed. Pulling him inside she sat him on the couch and read him the riot act for a solid fifteen minutes before she finally saw the remorse, the pain, the love in is eyes. 

"King's Bay. Georgia." Harriet said suddenly finding something to study on the floor.

Harm jumped up and beamed at the petite blonde. "Thanks." he said throwing his jacket over his shoulder and heading for the door.

"Sir?" Harriet called after him, but Harm was already out the door and jumping into his SUV. "Sir!" she called after him, but it was too late. She went back inside shaking her head. Bud being unsually perceptive wrapped an arm around her shoulders and lead her to the couch where he sat with his wife until she drifted off to sleep.

~*11: Finding your way home*~

Mac sat in her bed with headphone spanning her belly. She smiled as one of the twins stretched a hand or heel or elbow out and she watched it trace a path under her skin. She marvelled silently at the wonder of it. A ringing phone tore her attention away from the gentle music and her mind kicked quickly into gear—very few people had her home number. 

"MacKenzie." She answered and was shocked to hear Harriet's voice.

"Ma'am?"

"Harriet?"

"He's home, Ma'am."

"Harm?"

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Harriet. Stop it with the ma'am."

"Yes, Ma'--Okay." Mac heard her firend sigh. "He apparently went straigh to your old apartment—which incidentally is still empty—and he called here. He was here before I could finish telling him--"

"Harriet." Mac sighed loudly. "What _did_ you tell him?"

"That you're in King's Bay." Harriet looked worried at the exasperation in Mac's voice. "Mac, you didn't see him. I just couldn't—I think he's headed you're way. I know you'll be getting close to the due date now. How is everything?"

"Changing the subject won't help you any." Mac sighed again and ran a hand over her belly. "It's all great. The twins are healthy and expected anyday now. They still haven't been able to get genders."

"Stubborn. You should've known." Mac smiled at the echo of her own words.

"Harriet, I love you dearly so don't take this the wrong way, but I will never tell you another secret again as long as I live."

"Understood, Ma'am, I'm sorry."

"It'll probably work out for the best." Mac tried optimism for her friend but it sounded flat and false in her voice.

"Well, I'll let you rest. I just wanted to give you a heads up."

"Thank you, and Harriet," the Marine paused a moment. "It's good to hear your voice."

"You too, Ma'a—Mac. We all miss you."

Mac smiled sadly. "Ditto." she said before she hung up and crawled back into her bed. She curled up feeling an intense mixture of excitement, nervousness and relief. "Come and get me if you want me, Flyboy." She whispered as she closed her eyes to sleep.

  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  



	9. Chapter 11

~*~12: The Fine Line Between Fear and Terror~*~

Harm got out of his car on base in King's bay and slammed his head into the car door. Rubbing at the already swelling spot on his head, cursed. He walked into the tiny law office before him and smile when he saw Mac sitting at her desk, nose buried in paperwork. He started toward her door when she stood up. Harm watched from the front door as Mac stood up behind her desk in the small, quiet JAG office. He could barely believe his eyes. He rubbed at them and tried to remember the last time he'd had a head injury. She rubbed briefly at her back then swung her hair over her shoulder. Picking up her briefcase she shoved a few papers inside and headed for the door. Harm jumped back and looked down at the floor, in his jeans and golf shirt he was harder to pick out in a crowd, but as she walked by he saw her do a barely preceptible double take. She dismissed the strange feeling almost as quick as it occurred to her. Harm shook his head-- that was his sensible Marine he thought with a shrug and follwed her at a inconspicuous distance. Seeing her from behind, he wondered if he'd had in fact seen what he thought he saw. He shook his head and watched as she got into her car. He rushed to his only to lose her when she turned without signalling into the PX. She got out of the car and started to walk into the commisary dividion of the building. The sun glared brightly in Harm's eyes obscuring his view of Mac. Until she turned to laugh at a man walking behind her. Her smiled lit up and he could clearly see the swollen belly she rubbed at gently. Shaking his head he turned, walked back to his car and drove back to the BOQ.

  
  


Mac rubbed at he eyes as she sat up in her bed. She massaged her disteneded belly gently and spoke in low, soothing tones to the twins who were surprisingly still on this particular morning. She dressed slowly—the same way she did everything now. She walked to her kitchen and choked down breakfast while cringing with a few intense Braxton Hicks contractions. "C'mon guys, today has got to be better than yesterday. All that moving and punching Mom's insides? Yeah, that's gotta stop." As if reading her thoughts, the lives insided her streched simultaneously. The sheer length and size of them made it uncomfortable, but the searing pain that accompanied the stretching nearly brought her to her knees. She let out an uneasy gasp and made her way to the phone. Dailing her doctor's office, she sat down on a stool near the bar in her kitchen. The knock on her door caught her by surprise causing her to jump. The phone at doctor Hall's office rang and rand, but no one answered. Deciding quickly, she got to her feet. She ground her teeth together in an effort to walk through the pains. They came in waves now, one right after the other, but she didn't think this was what labor was supposed to feel like. Before she could get to the door, another wave of pain and nausea over took her, and she slid to the floor with a scream.

"Mac?" She heard a familiar voice call from the other side of the door.

"Harm?" She questioned weakly.

She heard a sharp thud against the solid front door and it occurred to her that he was trying to get in. "Harm?" She asked again, her voice barely more than a whisper. The heavy thud sounded against the door again, as her head spun from the pain, from the fear. She looked down at her legs curiously. Water and blod seemed to cover them thickly. The sight of the blood galvanized her. She gathered all her strength and yelled. "I'm in here, Harm! Please help me—us, Please help us!" Then the darkness swam into her conciousness and tried to over take her. Mac fought hard against it, fought with everything she had still inside her, the hope, the love. She heard the door give on it's hinges and roleld her face toward the sound. She saw Harm's face and smiled thruogh the pain. She let the dark fog take her and knew everything would be all right.

  
  



End file.
